After years of disuse, I dusted off my swords and went to a fencing class. I was beaten black and blue. After such a long time, my skills, once formidable, had turned to utter shit.
Everyone was faster, everyone had better aim, precision, energy, balance. It was an awkward spectacle. You can tell in fencing when people respect you as an opponent, and when they do not. When they do not - they viciously attack you - what is to fear? It is not as if this person has any defence. That is the reasoning.
For that day and some others I was in that poor position, a defender without the ability to defend. I went every day to try to stop the bleeding and put some life back into my skills.
Life did come back to them, some of the old trickiness, quickness and spring - but not immediately.
I began to get a sense of timing again, of movement, of distance, the invisible space between you and the oppon ent that keeps you safe. Then, how to threaten, how to make them move to your feints and attaks.
Yesterday I went again, and won better than half of my matches. One poor girl I made short work of - the old spark was comming back to me. Distract them, misdirect them, come from a thousand and one angles, never let them control the action, and if they do attack - do not be there, be too close, or too far, but control the distance. See the tells they give, the hesitations before a move, an attack - all you need is for them to come a little closer...
I am learning, still learning, but this is a first step back to the sunlight.
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